Joy Marchese, Author, Teacher, Founder Joy In Conversation with Edx Education


Joy Marchese, Author, Teacher, Founder Joy In Conversation with Edx Education

Heather Welch, Edx Education, and today we will be in conversation with Joy Marchese.  Joy, Author, Teacher, Founder, Joy Consultancy, teaching children social-emotional learning ( SEL )

Today we are chatting to Joy about trends a guide “How Not to Lose Your SH*T With Your Kids.” Talking about self-regulation, managing BIG emotions, taking a “time-in”, and overall being a more present and mindful parent.

Very relevant to the current trends and what’s happening with children going back to school forming new social friendships and feeling unsure about what’s next and your inspiration for starting the company…


Here are the highlights from the episode:

{1:23} Introduction to Joy Marchese
{2:43} How Jot started teaching teenage felony criminals
{5:48} A misbehaving child is a discouraged child
{8:06} Joy’s thoughts about children going back to school now and the challenges that teachers will face
{10:21} the four R’s of Recovery – Recognise, Reconnect, Reconcile, Resolve.
{19:32} Experiential exercise to understand what your child may be feeling
{24:22} Using positive language
{25:32} The author Daniel Siegel – ‘name it to tame it’
{27:42} Emotions flashcards
{29:18} How attitudes to social and emotional development have changed in the last few years


Heather Welch, Edx Education, and today we will be in conversation with Joy Marchese.  Joy, Author, Teacher, Founder, Joy Consultancy, teaching children social-emotional learning ( SEL )

Heather Welch (00:01)

You’re listening to education experts with edX education. Education is evolving. Join having Welch for Edx education, chatting with teachers, psychologists, parents, authors, creatives, and other tons of experts to keep up with the trends and what’s happening from around the globe. This podcast series, mediates education discusses, home learning, school readiness, being creatives changes in education, discussing what’s next hands-on learning. Or as we like to say, learning through play

Welcome everyone. I’m Heather Welch from edX education. And today I’ll be in conversation with Joy Marchese. Joy is an educator and author of positive discipline and founder of joy consultancy. Today, we’re chatting to joy on a guide that she has developed, how not to lose your S H I T, with your kids talking about self-regulation and managing big emotions, taking time in and overall being a present and mindful parent, which is very relevant to the current trends.

What’s been happening around the globe with children going back to school after many months off, forming new social friendships, and even just feeling unsure about what’s happening next. We’re also going to chat about Joy’s inspiration for starting her company. Welcome joy. It’s wonderful. You could join us today. Can you introduce yourself to our listeners and tell them about your passion for teaching social, emotional learning skills, or should I say healthy, happy, positive relationships.

Joy Marchese (01:23)

Thank you so much, Heather. It’s lovely to be here. Hi everyone. I am Joy. I’ve been an educator for 25 years and my teaching has always revolved as Heather said around social, emotional learning and wellbeing. But I would say that my life really changed eight years into my teaching career when I found myself teaching at Rikers Island jail in New York city. And thankfully at that point, I read my first positive discipline book around that time. And it really gave me the tools that I needed, not only to survive in such a challenging situation, but really to successfully teach my first of many social emotional learning curriculums.

So at that point I kind of never looked back and the philosophy of positive discipline, which is grounded in Leary, in psychology, which was completely aligned with my own personal values and vision. It just, I never looked back and I’ve been teaching that ever since. And I can’t imagine raising my own child another way. So I’m really passionate about the idea of teaching, social, emotional learning, and really giving kids and adults the tools that they need to not just survive, but really thrive in their lives.

Heather Welch (02:37)

That would have been really challenging. How old were the students that you’re teaching?

Joy Marchese (02:43)

So in New York state, you can be tried as an adult at the age of 16. So I was teaching 16, 17 and 18 year old felony criminals. So they had already been convicted of a crime and they were just waiting to be sentenced. So because they were under the age of 18, they had a secondary school where they could get their GED, so they could go and take classes. And I taught there for two years and it was during that time that I was introduced to the philosophy and of positive discipline, which is a program that is grounded in Adlerian psychology.

And it changed everything for me because I realized that I was doing, I was making so many mistakes as an educator, not realizing it all with the best intention, but realizing that I wasn’t really teaching the real character, the life skills and the qualities that I wanted to teach children so that they could be happy, successful, productive, contributing members of society.

Joy Marchese (03:45)

And I knew that’s what I wanted for these, for these guys that I was teaching that to give them the tools so that when they were, you know, leaving and starting their lives again, that they would really be equipped. But how do you teach in this kind of setting? How was I going to connect? And that was where I actually, I flew to California from New York and I met Jane Nelson, who was the creator of positive discipline.

Did a training with her and it was the biggest paradigm shift for me, not just in my teaching, but in my life because I started to look at behavior very differently. Many times I have parents and teachers coming to me and saying, Oh, joy, you know, can you help me deal with this challenging behavior? And they just wanna, they just wanna like stop the behavior.

Joy Marchese (04:31)

They just want to manage it. And when you just try to do it with that mindset, it’s, it’s just, it’s behaviorism, right? It’s using rewards and punishment and all of those things that we know and those things work, but they only work in the short term and you know, I’m really focused on the longterm. And so in order to really change behavior, we have to get below the sea level. We have to figure out what is really driving the behavior. And typically that’s coming from a belief system. So I was, instead of looking at what these guys had done to be in jail, I was thinking about what happened to them in their lives that got them to the point that they behaved in such a way.

It’s a whole different way of looking at people and human beings. And it changed everything for me. And it was pretty miraculous that I was there for two years teaching and I never once had a fight break out in my classroom. And that typically happened because we had rival gangs in the classroom. And I also was the only teacher that didn’t have an armed guard in the class or while I was teaching, because that made me uncomfortable. And yeah, it was just amazing. It was an amazing experience. And I think I took a lot from that

Heather Welch (05:46)

Quite interesting. I love the quote that you have on your website, which is a misbehaving child is a discouraged child. So that’s rude if Rikers, is it dry carers? Yeah. So, so would have strikers carried on the work of

Joy Marchese (05:58)

Alfred Adler and that’s what he, that’s one of his, his most famous quotes, I think, and, and something I live by is a misbehaving child is a discouraged child that everyone, and not just children, adults, because we misbehave as adults as well. We just do it in a different way. Right. But, typically, you know, if you, if you go past our basic needs of, you know, safety and food and shelter, right? Like those basic needs as human beings, we all have two very basic needs.

The first one is, is to feel a sense of belonging, right? To feel connected. And the second need is to feel significance or feel a sense of contribution or purpose. And if one or both of those needs is not being met, the person, whether it’s a child or adult will feel discouraged and they will find a way to get those needs met, even if it’s negative.

Joy Marchese (06:52)

So that’s kind of how we look at at behavior or misbehavior, quote unquote. So if you imagine like this iceberg and imagine that the behavior is just the tip of the iceberg, it’s what we see. But below the surface, right, is like 90% of the iceberg. And if you imagine below the surface, you have all these belief systems that are driving that behavior. So if we just chip away at the iceberg, by trying to manage the behavior, what happens is the iceberg floats up, the behavior will keep coming up again. The only way to change it is to figure out what’s driving it and get down to the root level. And usually it’s discouragement.

Heather Welch (07:32)

The children are feeling discouraged. I mean, with the last 12 months, it has been a very different year for many. So they haven’t necessarily had that connection to the school or even to the community or even to family. They’ve had a very much smaller community that they’d been a part of, whether it’s just the household and that may be it’s, theirs might be highly strung because of two parents working, trying to homeschool, trying to find things to, losing academic learning and all these, you know, different things. What’s your thoughts about children going back to school now and the challenges that teachers will face?

Joy Marchese (08:06)

Well, there’s a couple of things. So first of all, I’ve never seen kids so happy to be in school. Most of them, not all, most of them, for some kids, for some kids that pandemic was actually a relief. You know, those kids who weren’t loving school before actually thrived being home. So, you know, there’s always two sides, but I will say that in working a lot of my work is with teachers, teachers, and parents, but I do a lot of work with schools.

What I have noticed in working with teachers recently as well with kids going back is that socially and emotionally, many teachers have seen some delays and identified a few trends in light of the pandemic and how kids are kind of presenting at school. So what I’ve been hearing is that many kids seem to, and again, not all, it really does depend on their experiences that they’ve had over the past year, but many kids are struggling with a skills like collaboration, right?

Joy Marchese (09:05)

Because they haven’t had to be collaborating communication. And a big one is asking for help actually. So being in lockdown for so many months, and for some kids having the undivided attention of one or two adults in some ways may have hindered some of their developments, especially when it comes to that independence or self-advocacy or communication, and kind of socializing with their peers. So, you know, there’s not one, but I hope that schools in particular have really realized the importance, not just the importance, but really the urgency of focusing on social, emotional learning.

Because that’s a piece that I think has really been missing from schools. Although many, you know, many schools, you know, say, yes, we do this, but it needs to not just be a separate thing that they do. It needs to be embedded in everything that they do.

Heather Welch (10:00)

So the language, the communication, everything that they do as a teacher using the social and emotional learning, there’s a guide that you’ve set up, that we’re chatting about in the intro. So many parents relate to how not to lose your S H I T, with your kids, the free guide, which I think I love the name of it, to be honest, but you’ve developed it and people can download it. But the area that I really resonated with is the four hours of recovery. I thought that was a really lovely way that you can remind yourself to be able to talk to recover after an incident or after some negative behavior or anything.

Joy Marchese  (10:36)

It’s actually one of my, it’s probably one that I use the most, at least with my husband. So, you know, I think it’s, I think it’s important to note that when we’re talking, so in the work that I do, I work with not just kids, but I work with parents, teachers, and even in the workplace, right. Because teaching social, emotional learning, it’s not like a, a technique that you’re using on people. It’s about interpersonal relationships, right.

How do we interact with all human beings in our lives? Whether they’re our children, our spouse, our colleagues, our other family members. So, you know, I tend to be really good. I guess it’s 25 years worth of teaching. I tend to be really good with other people’s kids with my own daughter. But when it comes to my husband, it all falls to the wayside, right.

Joy Marchese (11:24)

So I have gotten really good, you know, I don’t really lose my belief, you know, with my daughter, with, with my students, but it’s my husband, right? So, you know, we’re all human beings and we all have buttons and our kids know how to push them. And you know, we’re gonna flip our lid, right? We’re gonna lose it. Sometimes we’re human.

We’re not perfect. And when we lose it, it’s an opportunity. There’s always the great thing about the philosophy that I work with is Ms. We really believe truly wholeheartedly that mistakes are opportunities. They’re opportunities to teach and opportunities to learn. So when we lose it, it’s an opportunity to teach repair. How do we repair it? So when we tell a child, when a child hurts another child’s feelings, right? What do we tell them to do?

Heather Welch (12:15)

Well, well, sometimes it’s turned to think about it and we say, sorry,

Joy Marchese (12:24)

Say, you’re sorry. Right? And then the kid goes, sorry. And then we say, no, say it like, you mean it. And they go, sorry.

Heather Welch (12:32)

Sometimes joy. I know that my three-year-old, if I said to him, if he’s just stolen something, not stolen, but if he’s taken his brother’s toy or knocked down his brothers, I say, can you say, sorry, but actually now we’re what we’re doing is do you know why William’s upset? We say to my little, my younger child, because he doesn’t tell him to say, sorry, he just goes exactly what you’re saying. Sorry. And, or he refuses to say, sorry, because you want him to say it. So we have to try and get him to understand why he’s saying it, rather than just saying it, because otherwise he’ll just say it and not ever understand the meaning behind it.

Joy Marchese  (13:08)

So that’s why the first step to recovery. The third step is the apology. The first step is to recognize. And what that means is to recognize what you have done, recognize your responsibility in the situation. So even if my daughter who’s three and a half is throwing a temper tantrum, right. And it pushes my buttons.

You know, if I lose my temper and yelled, I’m going to start off by saying, I lost my temper and yelled full stop. I’m not going to say I lost my temper and yell because you were not getting your shoes on. And right. That’s a backhanded apology. You really, I lost my temper and yelled, right. Because no one makes us do anything. Even though it doesn’t feel like a choice because it happens so quickly in the brain, we still choose. Right. I still choose to, to behave that way.

Joy Marchese  (13:59)

So I’m taking responsibility for my part. I lost my temper and yell. That’s step one, step two is to reconnect and that’s happening simultaneously, almost right? So my life mantra, this is a golden nugget. If anyone listening, if you, if you leave with one thing, this is my life. Golden nugget is connection before correction, how do we connect with the person before we correct before we teach? Right? So, you know, we connecting with the child or the adult.

So you can reconnect by getting down on their level, by, you know, holding their hands or a hand on the shoulder. But you can also reconnect with your words by validating them. Validation is one of my favorite ways to connect, because I love when people validate me. So the first two steps might sound like this. I lost my temper and yelled. I can see that really scared.

Joy Marchese (14:51)

That’s it? Those are the first two steps. The third step is then to reconcile. I’m sorry, can you forgive me? Right. That’s the apology. Now the key is kids are so much more forgiving than adults, right? So they, of course probably it’s okay, mommy. Right? And they’re forgiving you, but you cannot leave out the fourth step because the fourth step is the most important in the sense that’s where you resolve it. And you’re able to do come up with solutions.

So it doesn’t keep happening because remember mistakes are opportunities when we’re learning from them. Right. And we’re growing, not when we keep making the same ones over and over and not learning from it. Right. So my last, the whole thing would sound like this. And then that shelf, and I I’ll share this. I did this the other day with my daughter, Chloe. I lost my temper and I yelled.

Joy Marchese (15:43)

I can see that really hurt your feelings. I’m so sorry. Next time. I’m going to take a few deep breaths and walk away before I speak. Right? So we’re in all of that. We’re teaching them how to take responsibility, how to self-regulate. And sometimes the resolution is between the two people, right? How can we speak to each other respectfully? Sometimes you have to problem solve with the person, but sometimes it might just mean, what am I going to do? And really taking full responsibility.

I love that. And you know, my daughter only three and a half, but even when she last spring, she did it for the first time. She was only two and a half. And her and my husband had like their first bite. Like my husband is not a teller. And he yelled at her. He got really frustrated. He really was angry because she kept throwing food on the fourth, you know, and toddlers do that.

Joy Marchese  (16:34)

And she was really pushing his buttons and he flipped. And she was so scared because he doesn’t yell. And she came to me crying and she said, daddy yelled. And I said, what happened? And she said, I was throwing food on the floor. And I said, well, what do you think you can do? And I heard her and I, I, I caught most of it on video. She went to him, she said, daddy, I threw food on the floor. That wasn’t nice. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again. You know? And she actually went through those steps on her own because I had modeled them. She’s heard me do it so much that know modeled it. And that’s one of our greatest tools. Right? It’s the parent, or as a teacher is modeling these behaviors.

Heather Welch (17:16)

Yeah. That’s absolutely amazing that she, she understood the steps so quickly as well. Well, I suppose you’ve been doing it for a long time and it’s the way that you deal with all the big emotions that come out. Does she do it when, when she has big emotions, does she model them all the time? Or just sometimes

Joy Marchese (17:34)

I would say a lot of the time. And I guess because you know, under even the best circumstances, I typically have parents ask me like how they can keep their cool, right. When their child is throwing a temper tantrum. And I want to say that teenagers and adults also have temper tantrums. They just look different. Right. They solve. And they do it differently. But during lockdown, I don’t think there was a single parent that did not ask me how to keep it together, right. While, while homeschooling their kids. And that would kind of, that was where this guide was born. Right.

Because I kept sharing the same tips over and over. And I was like, okay, I’m just going to put this down into a guide to help parents kind of keep their cool and teach emotional intelligence to their kids because emotional intelligence, not only does it help people, you know, express their feelings, but it helps them have better relationships.

Joy Marchese  (18:28)

It’s actually linked to, to success later in life, both academically and in the workplace. So teaching emotional intelligence from a young age is so incredibly important. And this is something I’ve been, I do with my daughter. Again, I’ve been doing it since she’s, she’s really little. So we know that when children can identify and have words for their feelings, it’s much easier for them to self-regulate and to express them effectively. Right. And when they’re able to express their feelings respectfully and appropriately, it can give them that sense of connection and autonomy, right?

So that belonging and significance so that they feel empowered even to influence the world around them. So teaching emotional literacy is really important. And one of the ways that I started doing this with my daughter, one is by modeling my own feelings, right. Expressing them. But one of the other ways that I love it, and I’ve already mentioned it it’s that connection piece is validating.

Joy Marchese  (19:31)

So validating her feelings. So if it’s okay, Heather, I will take, I’d love to take everyone through a very quick experiential exercise so they can write what the child might be feeling. So I’m going to ask, unless people are listening to this podcast while they’re driving a car or operating machinery, don’t close your eyes, obviously, but if you are home or you’re, you know, you’re somewhere where you can just close your eyes for a moment. I’d like you to close your eyes. And I want you to imagine that you’re a young child. So let’s just say that you’re, I don’t know.

Let’s say that you’re four or five years old. Okay. And I want you to just listen to what I’m saying and my responses, and just notice what you’re feeling as the child. What thoughts are going through your head? Okay. So we’re going to do two rounds. So here we go. Round one. Oh, come on. It’s just a scratch. It’s not a big deal. You’re okay. Don’t be silly. That dog isn’t going to hurt you. Don’t cry next week. You’re being really selfish. You should share your toy with Amy. Oh, stop crying. You’re making me sad. So just notice as that young child, what are you thinking? How are you feeling? What’s coming up for you? Heather? Not connected. I’m

Heather Welch (20:48)

Not happy with the, the, feeling that my side’s not being seen. Is that a nice way to put it?

Joy Marchese (20:56)

Yeah. You’re thinking. Yeah. So these are thoughts, right? You’re thinking that I’m not understanding you, your side’s not being considered. Right. How are you feeling in one word? Sad. Okay. Okay. And what are you deciding about yourself or deciding to do or about me? What decisions are you making?

Heather Welch (21:18)

But you know, what it’s release is probably not the best thing to say, but I’m not going to do it your way. I was probably going to do it a different way. I would probably behave or rather than I feel that you don’t understand. So I feel sad and I probably, as a child would have misbehaved, to be honest.

Joy Marchese  (21:36)

Okay. All right. So, so now let’s, we’re going to try this a different way. Okay? I want you to still be that four or five year old little girl. And I want you to notice what you’re thinking, feeling and deciding. Here we go out that scratch might hurt that dog’s schedule when he barked. I wonder if you feel sad that grandma had to leave. Are you worried that you may not get your toy back? If you lended it to Amy, would you like me to sit next to you while you cry? So now notice what you were thinking, feeling and deciding that time around.

Heather Welch (22:12)

That’s really interesting. Do you know what it would have been? I want to hug, I want a hug from someone. I feel a connection I want to hug.

Joy Marchese (22:20)

And what do you think? Language

Heather Welch (22:22)

Thinking positively, I suppose, in a D to a degree thinking positive of the, about the, the way that I’m being. I know, do you know, it’s a respect thing. I feel like that there’s a mutual respect, which had three or four. I probably wouldn’t have understand the word respect, but it would have understand the concept.

Joy Marchese  (22:38)

Yeah. Feeling understood, feeling validated. So this is a subtle difference in our language right now. Now I have said that to my daughter. Oh, I remember the first time she fell off her scooter and fell down and her knee was bleeding. Right. And you know, when those things happen, when they’re young and they don’t even react right away, they kind of, there’s a seconds of pausing where they almost look at you to see what your reaction is, because they don’t know how to react.

Right. And we say to them, because we have the best intention, right. We don’t want to see our children hurt, disappointed, or see them suffer. Right. So we say something like you’re okay, come on, get up. You’re at brush it off. Right. We have the best intention. But sometimes we ended up sending them the message that it’s not okay to feel the way they’re feeling.

Joy Marchese (23:30)

So if you notice, when I said, ouch, that scratched my heart, I didn’t fix it. You know, a lot of time we want to jump in and fix it and rescue them. But actually all we need to do is validate feelings, let them have their feelings. And you know, what, if they need a hug, give them the hug and be there to, you know, to, to, you know, nurture them a little bit. So validating feelings is one way that you’re not just connecting with your child, but you’re teaching them all feelings are okay.

You’re allowing them to have their feelings. You’re teaching them emotional vocabulary. So that’s one of my favorite aside from modeling, right? The more you can model and to say what, how you feel the better, but validating them as another great is another great tool.

Heather Welch(24:22)

It’s the positive language as well that you use towards the child instead of it. You know, I mean, I know that I’m probably just as guilty as many other parents when you do think about it, to be honest, especially having two little boys and, you know, as a parent, you do get distracted.

You’re tired. And especially in the last 12 months when you’re working, you’re homeschooling and not knowing what’s next, you don’t have the support systems and all of this is that another thing that you’ve recognized in this guide is that taking time in not only for the children, but for yourself to be a mindful parent, because if you don’t have any batteries, you’ve got nothing to give anyone. So I think, yeah,

Joy Marchese (24:59)

But we always say you can’t, you can’t pour from an empty cup, right? Like you have to fill yourself up. Yeah. I would say for me, Heather, my personal favorite for, for managing feelings. And I kind of like to, I consider myself an emotional architect because I feel really strongly that when you can get the emotional foundation strong, you can build anything on that foundation. And it’s, I guess, because I’d been working on my own emotional regulation for so many years consciously, and I’m still working on it. My personal favorite tool in those moments is what Daniel Siegel.

He’s, he’s an amazing chemical neuroscientist. And he’s written many books, the whole brain child, the yes, brain, no drama discipline. He’s amazing if you haven’t heard of him or read his books, but he kind of coined the term, name it to tame it. And what we know about the brain is that when we can name or label difficult emotions, just saying like, this is fear, you know, anger, anger is rising.

Joy Marchese (26:05)

You know, what happens is it helps us kind of disentangle or unstick from them. And the research shows that when we label the emotions, the amygdala, that’s the part of the structure in the brain that registers danger, right. And kind of triggers us into that fight flight freeze response and our reptilian brain, the amygdala becomes less active and less likely to trigger a stress reaction in the body. When we just gently say like, this is anger, I feel worried. Right? So we usually feel a little bit of emotional freedom. We’re not necessarily conscious of it, but it’s kind of sending the message that, okay, this isn’t a real danger, right. It’s just a feeling and emotion.

So therefore once we, we can kind of tame it, right. We can regulate ourselves. Then we have more choice of how to respond. So for me, that’s been an incredible tool to help me not to lose my bleep with, with anyone. And that’s also why I created the emotions, poster and feelings flashcards for my daughter. So I can help her to develop that emotional literacy, because I was finding that I was only seeing things with emojis. And although emojis are cute for text messages, you know, teaching children, how to understand emotions, express emotions, and read other people’s emotions. We need to do that with the faces and expressions and not just emojis. So that’s something that I did for her. And we did.

Heather Welch (27:36)

Do you have it online? Are people able to access these emojis? Do you have a poster or anything?

Joy Marchese (27:41)

Yeah. Yeah. I had an illustrator create. She’s amazing. She’s a 22 year olds in Canada and she’s, she’s illustrated many children’s books. And I S I asked her if she could illustrate these 30 emotions. So we created a poster with 30 different feelings on it, and then flashcards where it has the feeling. So I’m happy. And then there’s a question, what makes you happy? Or I’m feeling, you know, worried, you know, what do you think might happen? So it’s not just naming the feelings, but then it’s going a little bit deeper into what can we do, right? Because some feelings we want to keep feeling, so how can we continue to feel that way? And some feelings, all feelings are okay, but some feelings we don’t want to stay in. So what can we do? Right.

That we can feel better. So they are available on my website on dry forward slash shop. Right now they’re only available digitally, but the poster in the UK is available by prints so that you can get, you can get a printed copy, but I would say, and you know, there’s so many books, you know, I can recommend children’s books to read about feelings. It’s just so important. And it doesn’t even have to be a book about feelings. You can read a book and just talk about how the characters were feeling, right. Just to develop that emotional, that vocabulary.

Heather Welch (29:03)

Absolutely. Do you believe as a society that our attitude has changed towards focusing on social and emotional development in the last 12 months or the last five years? I mean, has it been supercharged due to the pandemic or due to COVID?

Joy Marchese  (29:18)

I do think it’s been, it’s definitely now at the forefront of everyone’s minds. I, I definitely think, you know, the research is the research has been out there for a very long time, right. That when you get the social, emotional and character development, right, the academics will follow it’s. The research has been there, but schools need to make it especially now, because I don’t even think we’ve seen the full impact that the past year has had on many children. And yes, some children have thrived during this time, but many more have struggled and will struggle going forward. So I think that we really need to make that a priority in schools and in homes to really develop those social, emotional skills so that they can recover and build the resiliency that they need to thrive.

Heather Welch (30:09)

So that the, I agree with that a lot. I agree with that completely, but I suppose, how can parents and teachers get involved either? I know that you’ve got, these courses is called Eli, and that you’ve also, you work internationally with schools and educators. So geography is not a problem for you, but even for coaching with joy, how do they get in touch with your joy?

Joy Marchese (30:28)

So they can get in touch with me directly through my website, or email And, you know, I do have an Instagram finding I’m not as consistent with posting. I also have a Facebook page, positive discipline UK. I have a YouTube channel where there’s some videos, free videos that they can watch just to get some more tools. But a lot of actually one thing that I’m currently creating is just a micro membership because I get a lot of the same questions that come, and I find that I’m repeating myself quite a bit.

What I’ve decided, what I’ve decided to do to just make it easier for people, because everyone’s so incredibly busy is, is to just give bite-size. I’m going to be having this membership that like, it will cost like seven pounds a month, right? And it’s like, you know, the cost of like a cup of coffee at Starbucks, you know, and every week you will get a 10 minutes bite-size video with really practical. Like I did the validating feelings with you really practical, applicable tools that you can apply in your home straight away or in your classroom straight away, or even in the workplace. Right. Because you can validate your colleagues, they need the same things that, that children need. So that will be coming. So you can check my website out for that as well. So,

Heather Welch  (31:55)

Or they could, I know that you’ve got a monthly newsletter, so you’ve got a newsletter. So they’re sign up for that and you can let them know when it’s available, but I do suggest everyone does actually download the, how not to lose your S H I T. And it’s got seven strategies to help you and your kids manage your big emotions. And I know that actually, when I look back at it, it would have been very helpful if I downloaded it the middle of last year, we were in the thick of it. I sort of, we sort of got our feet together by the third lockdown this year, which has been quite, Oh, second lockdown is the second or third. I can’t even remember now locked down this year.

Joy Marchese  (32:31)

It’s crazy. Isn’t it. So I will say that if people, if they go on my website and they sign up to get the free guide, you know, I don’t bombard people with emails, but I will kind of send some follow-up emails, you know, with a little video, with a tool, I need a hug, some worksheets that you can do to help kids, you know, draw their feelings. So I’m just kind of, I’ve been developing this during, you know, a lot of this emotional literacy during the pandemic, because I’d just been seeing all the big emotions that have been arising. So as things develop, I’ll just keep sharing it with others. I’m really hopeful to just help parents and teachers all over the world.

Heather Welch (33:11)

Thank you so much. And as your golden nugget connection before correction, I love that. I think that’s definitely something everyone can take home is that it’s a small golden nugget that you’ve shared with us and also try the techniques that you’ve done today on the podcast. So thank you very much. It’s been wonderful to have you today. Thank you so much.

There are so many exciting developments happening right now in education. edX education would love to hear from you. So do you get in touch with subscribed 12 foot pounds, which is available on Apple pod beans, Spotify tune-in, and so many more, this podcast series is brought to you by Heather welch from edx education. As she’d like to say, let’s create lifelong learners.